The Iconic RPG Weapons That Are Way Too Dangerous for Real-Life

Rules are meant to be broken in video games. The easiest way to quickly break a game’s world? An overpowered weapon that makes the main character a one-person army. Now, imagine that power if it existed in the real world.

Let’s be honest; it’s a good thing that some weapons only exist in fantasy. If any of the following ten weapons existed in real life, we’d be in a heap of trouble. Let’s take a look at just how devastating they are.

Selection Criteria

The following ten weapons were selected based on these criteria:

• All weapons must come from an RPG video game, action and strategy RPGs included.
• Weapons are not limited to one setting, i.e. fantasy.
• Weapons must be memorable in the gaming community.
• They must be overtly OP.

10 Iconic RPG Weapons Too Dangerous for Real Life

1. Fat Man – Fallout’s Portable Nuclear Option

• Game: Fallout Series
• Damage Type: Nuclear/Radiation
• Claim to Fame: Launches a small warhead at targets and destroys the surrounding area.

One of the most devastating events that can take place in the real world is nuclear destruction. It’s a threat constantly looming over society. What makes nuclear missiles so terrifying is the consequences that follow a strike zone. The missile strike, alone, can level a city. The radiation that follows can starve a whole region–if not an entire country.

Now imagine if you could harness that power and simply launch it from a weapon on your shoulder. That’s precisely what Fallout’s Fatman does. Although it doesn’t create quite as much devastation as an actual nuclear warhead, it’s just as deadly.

Imagine a Fatman in the wrong hands. It could kill a large crowd of innocent people in a second. The lingering radiation would devastate the area long after. If the Fatman existed in the real world, it’d be game over.

Have fun destroying Deathclaws and more by playing one of the Fallout games today.

2. Buster Sword – Sometimes Size Does Matter

• Game: Final Fantasy VII
• Damage Type: Slashing
• Claim to Fame: A huge block of a sword that defies physics.

Long before nuclear and atomic weapons, men killed each other with swords. Warfare was still messy, but it didn’t have quite as much devastation that the time of gunpowder would bring. But some swords stand out for the sheer damage they can cause.

The Buster Sword is one of them. One look at it, and you can’t help but wonder how the physics of it even works. Its use is most prevalent in Final Fantasy VII and its spin-off games. It’s had a few bearers in the past, but Cloud Strife is its most well-known wielder.

The sheer size of the Buster Sword can take out a whole line of enemies with a single blow. Add in its ability to perform elemental strikes, and it’s something special. Now, imagine this type of sword in the real world.

It holds up against guns, and its long-range elemental attacks introduce a new problem most people don’t know how to handle. Add in the fact that you could mass produce the Buster Sword, and suddenly, everyone can cut through buildings, deflect bullets, and shoot fire at their enemies.

The Buster Sword makes fights a whole lot messier, but it’s a lot of fun to use with Cloud. Give it a go yourself by playing Final Fantasy VII.

3. The Keyblade – It’ll Steal Your Heart

• Game: Kingdom Hearts Series
• Damage Type: Slashing
• Claim to Fame: Can change its form and also unlock your heart.

Speaking of blades, while the Buster Sword may be best known due to its size, the Keyblade is best known for its shape. Who would ever think that a sword with the shape of a key would be so mighty? And that’s because the Keyblade’s true power comes from its powers rather than the ability to slash people with it.

I think its absolute terror rests in its ability to unlock someone’s heart. Narratively, you do this to release the darkness in someone’s heart. But let’s imagine this in the real world. Someone, or many people, could go around and start opening up people’s hearts.

Maybe that’d cure someone’s depression, but I think it’s far more likely that this type of power would be used to kill. No one can walk around with their heart literally exposed. All it takes is one person to start harming others by performing open heart surgery with the Keyblade.

But if you want to expel the darkness from people’s hearts, then be sure to give the Kingdom Hearts series a try.

4. The Omni-Blade – The Perfect Assassin’s Weapon

• Game: Mass Effect 3
• Damage Type: Fire/Slashing
• Claim to Fame: You can literally make this weapon with any omni-tool fabricator, and it’s completely disposable for quick-assassinations.

Not all dangerous blades are big. The Omni-Blade is a unique weapon in that it’s highly disposable. It’s part of the Omni-Tool used in Mass Effect 3. You have the Omni-Tool fabricate the weapon, which disappears when you’re done using it.

In Mass Effect 3, the Omni-Blade can be a powerful weapon in close-quarters fighting. One stab, and you can take out your enemy. While it works great in regular combat, I can’t help but think of all the murders and assassinations that would occur if this blade were real.

It’s utterly concealable since you don’t need to fabricate it until you’re about to use it. Since it rests on your wrist, you can easily “accidentally” bump into someone and slash their stomach open. It’d be difficult to trace the murder back to you, too, since the weapon disintegrates afterward.

In a murderer or assassin’s hands, the Omni-Blade would be terrifying in the real world. But if you want to be a hero who uses it to protect the galaxy, check out Mass Effect 3.

5. Mark 2 Lancer Assault Rifle – Cut Your Enemies in Half

• Game: Gears of War Series
• Damage Type: Piercing/Slashing
• Claim to Fame: It has a chainsaw bayonet attachment on top of being a gun.

While some people prefer a quick, clean, kill that an Omni-Blade can offer, others prefer things gory. Mark 2 Lancer assault rifle from the Gears of War series introduced a new type of weapon–a chainsaw attachment gun. On its tip, a massive chainsaw blade rests instead of a bayonet.

Ouch. In war, this weapon would cause both sides tons of casualties. It’d bring a whole new meaning to the phrase, “horrors of war.” But since military weapons tend to end up in the hands of civilians, let’s imagine this weapon in everyday life, too.

You won’t just have gangs or murderous people shooting others anymore. You’d have them charging into a group of people and going to town with the chainsaw attachment. Add in the brutal spray of bullets from the assault rifle, and it’s absolutely carnage.

If you want that sort of carnage, then play some Gears of War.

6. The Master Sword – Stop Enemies in Their Tracks

• Game: The Legend of Zelda Series
• Damage Type: Slashing/Elemental
• Claim to Fame: One of the most famous swords in video game history that deals different types of damage and contains certain abilities based on the game it’s in.

Not every iconic weapon needs to rip enemies to shred like the Lancer. Some of the most iconic, and dangerous, weapons are understated. The Master Sword from The Legend of Zelda series is a prime example. Of all the weapons on this list, The Master Sword is likely the most iconic. You probably know about the sword even if you’ve never played any Zelda games.

But what makes this weapon so powerful? Besides causing a lot of damage to enemies, each Master Sword has a unique ability based on the Zelda game you’re playing. Let’s use The Master Sword from Ocarina of Time as an example.

This particular sword allows you to slow time. Your enemies slow down, almost becoming immobile, enabling you to take them down quickly. Now, imagine having that sort of power in the real world. You could get away with anything. Robbery, murder, ensuring you arrive to work on time, the Master Sword makes it all possible.

You can use The Master Sword for the forces of good by playing The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Or, try any of The Legend of Zelda games to explore the different iterations of The Master Sword.

7. The Wabbajack – Make Targets Become Cheese

• Game: The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim
• Damage Type: Elemental/Transformation
• Claim to Fame: It’s such a gamble to use since you never know if you will destroy someone or turn them into something.

While some iconic weapons have magical capabilities, like the Buster Sword and Keyblade, others are purely magical. Take the Wabbajack, for example. It’s a weapon of pure chaos. While you won’t kill anyone with this weapon, you can completely ruin their lives.

That’s because every time you hit someone with the Wabbajack, you can turn them into something. It might be a chair or a rabbit. The point is no one knows. That makes the weapon fun to use in The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim, but using it in the real world would only ruin lives.

Imagine walking down the street one day only for someone to hit you over the head with a staff. You’re not dead. You’re not even really hurt. But you’re suddenly a crab scuttling along the ground. Or, even worse, you don’t have any thoughts at all because you’re a chair or a wheel of cheese.

And that’s the sort of chaos that Sheogorath loves the most. If you’re curious to meet him, pick up Skyrim if you haven’t already, or give it another playthrough.

8 The Monado – Rewrite Reality

• Game: Xenoblade Chronicles
• Damage Type: Slashing/Reality Bending
• Claim to Fame: It literally changes reality around you.

While the Wabbajack can change someone into something else, the Monado can change reality. Featured in the Xenoblade Chronicles, when the player first encounters the Monado, it grants them foresight. Later on, it’s even able to change the surrounding area.

Now, let’s think about having this type of weapon in the real world. Everyone who has their own Monado would be able to predict the future. That ushers in a sort of chaos in itself. Then, if something doesn’t quite go how a person wants it to, they could use the sword to rewrite the outcome. They’re literally able to change reality.

That would break the world as we know it. People could rewrite reality to ensure they married a certain person. They could make themselves rich or powerful. They’d virtually become a god, and the real world isn’t quite ready for an actual god to walk in it.

Keep reality-bending hijinks to the video game world and play Xenoblade Chronicles instead.

9. Mohgwyn’s Sacred Spear – Drain Blood From Everyone Around You

• Game: Elden Ring
• Damage Type: Fire
• Claim to Fame: Causes both massive AOE and single-target damage by draining the target’s blood.

The world of Elden Ring is a harsh, dangerous, place. So, it makes sense that a weapon from that world would be far too dangerous for the real world. While many weapons from Elden Ring could make the list, Mohgwyn’s sacred spear has a powerful ability that would be terrible to witness.

The spear allows you to drain blood from anyone within a certain radius. As they’re drained of blood, the victims perish. It’s a horrifying way to go, and that’s only one attack that the spear can perform. So, imagine this weapon in the real world.

You might be in the grocery store, then suddenly, someone comes in with this spear and starts draining the blood right out of your body. The entire store could end up dead in a few seconds. Even worse, it doesn’t take long for the weapon to refresh this type of attack either.

This spear would leave tons of bodies behind in its wake in the wrong hands and the real world. So, enjoy it in the world of Elden Ring instead by picking up the game and giving it a go.

10. Sir John Phallustiff – You’ll Wish It Had Killed You

• Game: Cyberpunk 2077
• Damage Type: Blunt
• Claim to Fame: It’s a dildo as a club. What more can you say?

I’ll be honest. There was only one weapon I used in Cyberpunk 2077, and that was Sir John Phallustiff. All jokes aside, it’s actually a pretty effective weapon. It bludgeons your enemies until they’re knocked unconscious. But it’s not the damage that grants this iconic weapon’s place on the list.

It’s the sheer amount of emotional trauma that being knocked unconscious by this weapon would cause. The Phallustiff doesn’t just knock you out–it makes you wish it had killed you. Because when you wake up, you have to face the fact that someone just beat you over the head with a dildo.

And not everyone can recover from that knowledge. The game says it causes blunt damage, but I think it really causes psychic damage. You’re going to therapy after this attack.

Even scarier, this weapon could actually exist in the real world. So, watch out. We might not need to make it to 2077 before it appears on the streets. Until then, send your enemies to therapy by playing Cyberpunk 2077 and getting your hands on the Sir John Phallustiff.

FAQ

Appreciate the Line Between Fantasy and Reality

Weapons in RPGs bring a lot of fun to the game. They allow you to experience a taste of godhood with their power. But considering the type of power some of these iconic weapons have, it’s a damn good thing they exist only in video games. Let’s try to keep it that way.

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